New strategies for job search:

1. Show up daily. Look busy. Wait some months. Ask for salary reassessment, citing reliable performance.
2. Put self on ebay.
3. File for personal non-profit status. Continue present non-profitability.
4. Build time machine. Travel backward until meagre savings become a fortune.
5. Hire calligraphist. Change ‘MFA’ into ‘MBA.’
6. Sew bear suit. Live at zoo. Enjoy free meals, frequent swimming.
7. Befriend celebrities. Blog.
8. Plastics.
9. Transfer funds for Nigerian royal family.
10. Lower expectations.
11. …

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